My Shortcomings as a Wife...

Here is a little bit of something for you singles (as in not married yet) out there who might be looking for Mr. or Miss Right: get your own house in order first. If you can't even boil water now, you won't magically transform into Rachel Ray after you go through the vows. If your laundry pile has shirts leftover from the summer burried on the bottom, that pile will become twice as big when your household becomes two. I knew this going into marriage, but I also thought I could change as I went. I knew I had areas to tidy up in, but I would deal with them in due time. The only thing I can say is I'm lucky to have such a patient husband! (That's right Jon, you're patient!!!)

I admit my cooking is bland at best. But I'm getting better. And my tidiness is...well...mediocre. But I'm getting better. But the tip-top WORST of my "keeping house" wifey qualities is DUN-DUN-DUN...the fridge. You may laugh, but it's not even funny! For some reason, it's really hard for me to throw food away, and you can imagine what happens after a week, 2 weeks, a month, or (God forbid) "Brenda, WHEN did you make these potatoes?" "Um, when my mom was over." "When was that?" "Um...mid-December?" "Brenda...it's February."

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OPEN THE LID!!!!!!!!!

But the most nauseating event didn't even occur in my refrigerator. It was the Teacher's Lounge fridge at school. One day this past week, I looked in the corner and saw a clear tupperware with a green lid. I thought to myself, hey! That person has tupperware just like me! Till I realized with horror that the tupperware was MINE. Since the tupperware was clear I could see its contents without releasing any lethal gases: it was a chicken hotdish...that I brought for lunch during one of my extended care work days...over Fall Break.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OPEN THE LID!!!!!!!!!

Now, if it was any normal tupperware, I would have trashed the whole kit-n-kaboodle. But this was REAL TUPPERWARE with a cool corrugated bottom to store meat with its juices and little ventilation holes with flip caps (which were thankfully closed). It was a life worth saving! I went into ER mode even donning the rubber gloves and facemask. Jon and I hunched over a double-lined Target bag (because they're thicker and don't have holes in them like the Cub foods bags) and dumped out the contents and sent the tupperware into a sink of super-sudsy water. We tied the bag and Jon went immediately to the dumpster. (see, I told you he was patient! What other man would help his sheepish wifey fix her mistakes??) I went to the sink and said a small prayer as I plunged my hands into the dish water. I scrubbed and scrubbed, then lifted the bowl to my face and mustered my courage to *sniff* PHEW! scrub some more. Scrub scrub scrub "I need more dish soap, STAT!" scrub scrub "where's the green scour scrubby?" scrub scrub. *sniff* hmm...*sniff sniff sniff* "I think we just saved his life."

Now, do you think this story will be enough to teach me a lesson? I hope so. But until the long-term results yeild a change of life-style, I'll continue, by God's grace, to change the day-t0-day stuff. For now, the fridge is mold and fuzzy-free!