So today Jon and I started our "express birthing classes" at the hospital where we'll deliver. This means that last night I was tearing through the office looking for the workbook and paperwork that they sent us to bring to the class. Getting frustrated with myself for once again misplacing something of importance, I chastised myself and said to God, "You must just shake your head at me with a grin on your face, huh? Will she ever learn to put things away???" It occurred to me to pray that God would help me find the workbook, but I dismissed it saying to myself, "This is my problem, and I need to take the responsibility for it." After a few more minutes of fruitless searching, I bit my lip and stuffed my pride. "I don't suppose God, that you would help me find it." I picked up my calendar and placed it in the file where it belonged; then an item behind it caught my eye. I swear I had looked over that file a thousand times but I recognized that item only after uttering that prayer not even 5 seconds before hand. Of course it was the workbook. I might have been able to dismiss it as coincidence (as I am wont to do too often, I'm sorry to say) except that I was almost STILL SAYING THE PRAYER as I found it in that file. It was like God had interrupted me and handed me the workbook! I laughed outloud and probably laughed for a good minute! It was as if God was playing a joke on me, and I felt joy and complete companionship with God as opposed to being chastised or scolded for misplacing yet ANOTHER item. I could almost hear Him say to me, "I get a kick out of you Brenda!" Can you imagine God laughing with his eyes twinkling as a Father's eyes would twinkle with his daughter?
This reminded me of C. S. Lewis's book The Magician's Nephew. Near the end of the story Aslan the Lion tells Digory to find a magic tree. On his journey Digory and his companion Jill become very hungry and they have nothing for supper. Their faithful steed Fledge the talking horse hunkers down for some grass. This is their conversation:
Polly and Digory started at one another in dismay. "Well I DO think that someone might have arranged about our meals," said Digory. "I'm sure Alsan would have, if you'd asked him." said Fledge. "Wouldn't he know without being asked?" said Polly. "I've no doubt he would," said the horse (still with his mouth full). "But I've a sort of idea that he likes to be asked."
Of course God knows our needs before we ask them. But in asking for them, we are admitting that we can't get it on our own. We are admitting that we need him. And it's his absolute delight to meet our needs and prove himself as our provider, time and time again. He met me on a small scale with that workbook. I have faith He will meet me on larger issues looming ahead of me. It's his delight to do it. I am waiting for that "big fish" to come in, and when it does, I will be posting it. It's for His own glory that He answers prayer, and so it's for his glory that I share how He has heard my cry, no matter how small and insignificant!
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